Top 10 Rules for Your Parents This Summer

Top 10 Rules for Your Parents This Summer
By: Kirsten Sordelet

Summer vacation is drawing near and it will again be time to move back home with the family. This sounds amazing when thoughts of stocked pantries and 600 TV channels come to mind. I’ll just say, from past experience that there’s a lot more that comes along with living at home than just free snacks. The rents are going to be feeling pretty powerful again and they’ll test the boundaries on their rules. Don’t worry. You’re more sophisticated, scholarly and refined and completely competent of taking care of yourself now. I have a few simple rules you can give them to assure a summer of fun and relaxation.

1. I’m a guest!
When I moved out last fall, you gave my TV to my sister and moved my high school pictures to the basement where dad couldn’t find them. Therefore, I don’t feel like I really live in this household. I like as though I should be treated as a guest considering I’m paying you this lovely visit. Dishes, toilet cleaning and vacuuming are traditionally tasks taken care of by the hosts. As a guest I will make sure to pick up after myself and help myself to anything.

2. What I’m wearing.
I put into consideration the fights we used to have about how long it took me to get ready in the morning. It’s become very obvious that it’s not worth the hour every morning to get ready and 10 minutes is all I really need for comfort. Sweats have become a part of who I am and when I’m feeling like looking nice, I just might match my t-shirt to my sweatshirt. Don’t judge me for dressing lower than my education and I won’t take an hour to get ready.

3. Friend time verses family time.
So it’s been an entire year and I have not seen near enough of my friends. Yeah, I haven’t seen Aunt Dorothy in 9 months; tell her I’m done with school in July. That will give me plenty of time to go to the lake, concerts and bonfires at least 100 times to catch up with my best friends. I’ll get around to the thousands of kisses and hugs eventually…

4. Let’s not talk politics.
Sorry, but I’ve been brushing up on my political knowledge and have decided that I completely disagree with everything you believe in. Since I know I’m right because of what all my professors say, I feel it’s best to avoid the conversation completely. Fox News will now be replaced with E! News just to be safe.

5. We’ll need some more food.
I’ll cut straight to it. The cafeteria at school was nasty. The food I could afford from Wal-Mart was boring and the food that I craved was waiting at home for me. I’ll need to catch up on all the goodness I’ve missed so I figured about a 20% increase on all my favorites would be acceptable. The fridge should be first priority at all times.

6. Any night can be a weekend.
Since my job at the restaurant takes little to no brain energy, I have decided that we can discontinue use of days of the weeks and move to a system where it’s a weekend if I can sleep in past 11 am. At school I learned that something fun is happening every night and parties don’t discriminate against weekdays. It will work best if we use different calendars and clocks.

7. Remember the younger siblings are younger.
My little sisters and I are each three years apart. Just because I’ve moved back into your house doesn’t mean I’ve moved back in age. Their rules have nothing to do with my rules. My rules are written out on this list. Since going to college, I have proven myself to be a responsible adult and don’t find it necessary that the 7th grader and I are expected to have the same chores. Remember, I am a guest.

8. Yes, I need my alarm set for 1 pm.
The college schedule is very hard to explain. It is best described as a series of naps taken throughout the day with the longest one being about five hours at night. Waking up is strictly for eating, hanging out with friends or working. Daylight means nothing to me so it’s best not to disturb me when I’m asleep.

9. What’s a curfew?
Referencing back to point number 7, curfews are generally designed for junior high or high school students. Curfews were great when I used to play outside and come in for dinner at 5 o’clock. Curfews do not work when parties begin after your night ends. The clock on my phone is for measuring how long I’ve been out or how many hours until I have to work. My time is too precious to spend it at home so don’t put an extra stress on yourself.

10. Don’t worry about where my money is going.
It’s been hard being so poor all year. You have worked your hardest all my life to show me the value of a dollar and by cutting me off, I have finally realized it. My summer job will be my source of income this summer though, so unless you are the one signing my checks I don’t find any reason why you should be concerned with where they are going. You may notice some improvements to me this summer such as haircuts, manicures and a band aid covering up something on my lower back, but just remember: you’ve taught me well… don’t be afraid.